I moved to NYC and it has been QUITE a journey. Long story short, I had the most miserable first two weeks here, one great week where I started taking dance classes, and then maybe another not-so-good week because I rolled my ankle yesterday. (do I only write blog posts when I’m injured? Maybe.) I’ve had some time to think about my purpose, what I want, and what I want to pursue… and I’ve had even MORE time stressing about if I’m taking the right steps and about if I’m wasting too much time.

I am definitely wasting a LOT of time recently…

I think there’s something really important about that for me, though. I am NOT built to strive for perfection. I didn’t care about becoming a perfectionist until college, when I started studying computer science. For those that… don’t know… that degree is almost ALL optimizations and efficiency. My soft little sensitive heart spent a LOT of time learning that things can either be 100% right, or 100% wrong (even if you spent weeks making it. Literally code will NOT run unless it’s perfect). I think 5 years of that rewired my brain a bit in a way that is… less than useful for me as a human. Lots of perks! Love the attention to detail! Overall, very… sad to operate that way as a human & artist.

*view from where I’m sat at this very moment*

That’s another side topic. Being a human. I’m so sick of this AI bullshit. Social media is SO gross nowadays. BACK IN MY DAY we had tumblr, and I feel like that was the most beautiful and chaotic discussion board for everything on the internet. I think I’m definitely skewing my memory towards nostalgia, but I remember finding so many impressive and imperfect works of art there. Also… I feel like I could COLLECT these little memories, reposting them all over my page. I felt like I was curating my own little corner of the internet! It was so joyful! Hell, that’s where I found Yanis Marshall!!!

Tumblr was so human (and cringe) but mostly human, and it exposed me to the world in an enriching way… unlike our current social media hellscape. Everything now is so… perfect. and SHORT. and FAST. I miss imperfect, long-form content. It doesn’t even have to be entirely genuine content! I love a bit! But all this other shit is fryyyiiiiiinnngggg myyyyy brrrraaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiin.

I’ve wasted a lot of time recently. Transitioning to a new life is HARD. But I’m a little bit thankful for that. See below:

I keep turning to this website as a replacment for THE GOOD TIMES (the tumblr times). I miss curating my own little corner of the internet. I miss being annoying and cringe. I miss wasting time and scrolling in a way that rotted my brain a little less. Alas… I have free will! I can make my own little corner, here. And so I will and I do.

I sincerely hope you enjoyed wasting a little time here today. If you want to waste a little more time in a nice way, check out https://www.instagram.com/theplayrxcure/ . Her stuff feels enriching and also loosely has been… inspring me… lately.

xoxo,

RJ

On wasting time.

Do it, & Do It Scared.